Puppy Dog Confessions

True confession time: I don’t always like my dog.

I know that sounds terrible, but it’s true. I often say that it’s a thin line between kissing him and killing him. Many people think I’m kidding, and most of the time, I am. After all, it can be refreshing to have a dog with such an independent streak. One with a well-developed sense of humor (I’m solidly convinced that he loves nothing more than to see people laugh). One with a clear sense of self and who is not afraid to let you know what he wants (despite repeated training to teach him a little restraint).

But then there are the days like today, when I wish he wasn’t so obstinate. When I wish he wasn’t such a challenge. When I wish he wanted to be a good dog more than a fun-loving, social-climbing little ass.

These days generally come when my reserves are down. After long weeks of work or when I’m feeling a little down or when I haven’t taken care of myself. I’m sure that Cesar Millan would say I am the source of the bad behavior because he is simply feeding off my energy, but it can be hard to remember to be calm and centered when your dog is acting out over a pup across the street and refusing to sit as you are getting soaked by a sudden downpour.

As water seeped in my shoes and squished between my toes, I honestly felt like crying.

After I returned home and changed into dry clothes, I left the house because I needed time away from him. So, I headed to the pet store a couple of towns over and visited dogs in need of a new home. I cuddled and loved and contemplated taking home three different calm, sweet and well-deserving dogs.

And then I felt guilty.

And I wanted to cry all over again.

In reality, I have a good dog. A good dog who can do a lot of things. A good dog who can do a lot of things and likes to be cuddled at night. A good dog who can do a lot of things and likes to be cuddled at night and is mine to see into the world as a good dog owner should. Cooper will always be a challenge. It is part of the responsibility I accepted when I rescued him from the couple who were more interested in going to the bar than staying home with a 7.5-week-old puppy.

But that doesn’t mean I won’t cry a few times over the challenge he presents me every single day.

Cooper